Question #24393

Why do people all the sudden become extra nice to you when you're giving them the silent treatment?

I don't understand why someone would all the sudden start being extra nice to you when you're giving them the silent treatment, I also don't get why people would even be apologetic towards those who are giving them the silent treatment yet they don't believe they've done anything wrong to...

  • marys.momma

Have you been talking too much, too loudly, too self-centeredly? Maybe they're happy to see you're not talking now.

  • Tommy G.

Assuming that they are condescending when you speak, they take pleasure in their silence for a reason that involves making them feel threatened by the presence of their voice of their own reasoning.

  • ?

They are probably trying to be nice to you in the way you coax a child who is upset but with no need to be. Giving someone what you call the silent treatment is what petulant children do not adults. If you have a genuine grievance with this individual handled it like a grown up.

  • sheloves_dablues

The "silent treatment" is childish and immature.

  • ?

The nicer they are, the more foolish the person giving the silent treatment looks. A sensible person remains polite and tries to avoid this person if they’re being mean.

  • LiverGirl98

Some people are not comfortable with silence and they need to be constantly engaged with everyone in their life, hence why they might choose to engage in what you call 'extra nice' behavior. Rather than consider why a certain individual may not be speaking to them, they simply believe by their pleasant manner will override any negativity being felt.

  • Hot Coffee Light No Sugar

people who receive the silent treatment merely don't like feeling shunned. It could even be from someone they hate or at least dislike deeply. They can't stand being looked at in any way other than perfect.

  • Pearl L

maybe they feel bad about what they did so theyre trying to be nice to you to make up for it

  • Garfield the Cat

because they're worried about their friendship with this particular person and are willing to make things right again, I think it is better to be straight up with the person who you're giving the silent treatment to than punish them in silence.

  • ?

or... they're allowing you to see how ridiculous you are.

  • Bent Snowman

because when someone's silent and possibly upset, being nice to them lets them know you are still on their general side too even if you specifically disagree with them on something. Lot of people aren't good with managing their emotions, and are socially clumsy. To be frank, people need help socially sometimes. Waiting for everyone to reach a bar whose height is meant for everyone is what doesn't make sense (e.g. waiting for them to apologize or admit they were wrong, things like this. For some people this can take months, some people will never admit it which will create permanent distance in a friendship that's annoying if the two people can't forget about it), you meet people somewhat where they are. Sometimes this means being nice to someone who is mad perhaps for no reason at all or is mad for an undeserving reason. I'm not hear to argue about the merits of either approach by the way, I'm just answering the question in one way.